Overcoming The Fires of Passion in Debate

It's an interesting phenomenon that I've been witnessing the past couple of days.

People align themselves with their beliefs. I think everyone can agree with that statement. And if it's a strong belief, when someone comes at them with an opposing viewpoint, things can turn vitriolic very quickly.

This has always bothered me, because how can you test your beliefs to be sure you haven't missed something in your thinking if you're so emblazoned with passion that you're not actively listening to what the other side is saying.

Well, I think I might have found some help to this.

I got into a debate with someone over a political topic - something that I don't really care all that much about. But there was a basic error in their argument. And I couldn't let it stand. So I pointed out the error. Because I did, I was seen as being on the opposite side of that political fence. And immediately, I was now the person toward whom the arguer's ire was directed. There was some obvious hostility and no willingness to admit the error which had been pointed out.

...Until I stated that I was playing devil's advocate.

Immediately, the other person rethought what I'd said and realized that I'd pointed out something that was valid, and we started having a REAL discussion.

This was a huge eye opener.

When the person saw me as on the opposing team, nothing I said could be listened to or trusted. But as soon as I was seen as on the same team, the words I said were judged by the truth they held. Again, I find this very interesting.

We've built a culture that is incredibly defensive. Is it because our beliefs cannot bear the weight of scrutiny?

How can we break down the fence and let people see we're on the same side, so that we can hear the facts and weigh them - and allow the other site to really hear what we have to say. We really need to feel that we're on the same team, so that we can look at political debates (which are typically nothing more than two different solutions to one problem, with both sides arguing for which solution will work better) with a desire to actually find the best solution, not just the one that we're hoping for.

All I can say is, from now on I don't think I'm going to be telling people what side of debates I'm on. I'll try to argue for both sides, then make up my mind.

And don't expect me to tell you where in the debate I've landed.

First Post

Well, you never know if the grass is greener until you're on the other side.

I've typically used WordPress for blogging purposes. But, what the heck. I'll give blogger.com a try. Worst that can happen is I give it up after a while. Eh. Whatever.

As you might have guessed, I do have another blog: http://marketingmangamusic.com. But sometimes a random thought comes my way and I want to blog about it. But I don't want to do it on my "business blog." So this will be the place.

As for the title, it's a play on the name of the band I used to be the lead singer for: His Name Is Alive. When we toured and people asked for autographs, I signed them Her Name Is Oliver. I'd considered naming it "Atashi Nippon Otaku - confessions of a fangirl." But I'm not sure if I need a to or a no in there between Nippon and Otaku. Heck, I'm not even sure my pidjin-Japanese would be recognizable to someone from there. So, I decided to skip it.

Maybe someday I'll meet someone Japanese who will appreciate my nerd-dom and affinity for all things Japanese and will help me start to learn the language. Eh, we'll see.

For now, My name is Karin Oliver-Kreft. And this is a blog of my thoughts.
Prepare to be either amused, bemused, or bored. Not sure which.