Friendships as Adults

One of the things that sucks beyond belief about being an adult is how incredibly difficult it is to make new friends.

When we were kids, if you had a common interest at all, you were friends with someone. You shared the interest, talked about it, spent time together. But as you get older, time becomes a precious commodity, of which there is never enough. Worse, we become jaded. When someone wants to spend time with us, we think, "What are they after? What do they really want?"

As an adult female - a happily married one, to boot - it's deemed inappropriate to evolve friendships with males. And, okay, I can understand that one. But frig, it's HARD to find friends that actually want to spend time with you as a human.

It's easier, I think, for people who have kids. You can talk about your kids and what they're doing, and that provides a safety net. You can break the ice without fear of malicious intent. But some of us don't have kids - and not for lack of trying, thank you very much. Adults with kids kind of lose the ability to talk to those who don't have them. While I understand that there's a new level to your life when you're a parent, for some reason, most parents have no desire to remember life without kids and share time with those of us not so blessed. (Yeah, sure, time is always a factor, but most parents I know don't even ASK if the non-parents want to spend time with them AND their kids. And consider this - for those who have been trying to have kids without success, don't you think they WANT to be around kids? You could be adding such a layer to their lives, yet y'all refuse to even consider it. Okay. Done preaching now.)

As an adult, in a new city, with few friends - unless you fall back on sports or liquor, which I don't - it's practically impossible to make friends.

Think about that for a minute.
Think about how many friends you could have if you actually were willing to spend 1/2 hour a week with someone new.

The opportunities are there if you look for them.

Otaku? What's that?

You may have noted that the subtitle for this blog is "Random thoughts from a nice-smelling otaku." And assuming you're not an otaku, you're probably thinking two things.

1) What the heck is an otaku?
and
2) Why are you specifying nice-smelling?

So here's the skinny:

Otaku is a Japanese term. It usually means a fanboy or fangirl. Someone who goes totally over the top in their fandom. Think Trekkies, and you'll be on the right track. Of course the term can refer to any fandom, but here in the US, people who use the term are usually referring to people who are fans of anime and manga.

Like me.

And on to the second question.

There is a phrase that you may hear in grumbling voices, usually proceeded by the word, "damned." That phrased is "stinky otaku." And there's a reason for it. Fans of anime have a tendency to enjoy "cosplay," which is short for "costume play," which basically means dressing up like your favorite anime or manga character and spazzing out while at conventions.

There's only one big problem with cosplay, though. And I'm not referring to the razzing you get from friends and coworkers who have lost connection to their inner child. It's that most costumes are made of materials that really don't wash well. People putting together costumes don't always think about the need to wash them after wearing. And then, the costumes are worn in convention halls where you're surrounded by hundreds of other fans. And most cosplayers do still have sweat glands.

So, they wear the costume for one to three weekends out of a year, sweat like crazy, and then don't bother to wash them - they just hang 'em up to air 'em out. Which might work - if they didn't then sweat in them again the next time they're worn.

Otaku stink, in its rawest form, can be as ppowerful as running into a brick wall.

Which is why regular convention-goers will often make comments about the desire to pass out free bars of soap.

So. To sum up. I am an otaku. But I both bathe every day, and wash all clothing that I may wear - even costumes. Thus, I am a nice-smelling otaku.

Hope that clarifies.