Friendships as Adults

One of the things that sucks beyond belief about being an adult is how incredibly difficult it is to make new friends.

When we were kids, if you had a common interest at all, you were friends with someone. You shared the interest, talked about it, spent time together. But as you get older, time becomes a precious commodity, of which there is never enough. Worse, we become jaded. When someone wants to spend time with us, we think, "What are they after? What do they really want?"

As an adult female - a happily married one, to boot - it's deemed inappropriate to evolve friendships with males. And, okay, I can understand that one. But frig, it's HARD to find friends that actually want to spend time with you as a human.

It's easier, I think, for people who have kids. You can talk about your kids and what they're doing, and that provides a safety net. You can break the ice without fear of malicious intent. But some of us don't have kids - and not for lack of trying, thank you very much. Adults with kids kind of lose the ability to talk to those who don't have them. While I understand that there's a new level to your life when you're a parent, for some reason, most parents have no desire to remember life without kids and share time with those of us not so blessed. (Yeah, sure, time is always a factor, but most parents I know don't even ASK if the non-parents want to spend time with them AND their kids. And consider this - for those who have been trying to have kids without success, don't you think they WANT to be around kids? You could be adding such a layer to their lives, yet y'all refuse to even consider it. Okay. Done preaching now.)

As an adult, in a new city, with few friends - unless you fall back on sports or liquor, which I don't - it's practically impossible to make friends.

Think about that for a minute.
Think about how many friends you could have if you actually were willing to spend 1/2 hour a week with someone new.

The opportunities are there if you look for them.